When a senior parent moves in with an adult son or daughter, it can be both heartwarming and challenging. Families often make this choice for love, safety, or financial reasons—but living under one roof again requires adjustments for everyone involved.
According to a 2021 Pew Research Center study, about 59.7 million Americans live in multigenerational households, and the number has been steadily rising since 1971. One of the most common reasons? Caring for an aging parent.
While this arrangement can strengthen family bonds, it also requires careful planning to make sure everyone feels supported and respected. Consider these five dos and five don’ts to help guide the transition.
Five Dos When Moving in Senior Loved Ones
1. Do Have Open Conversations First
Before the move, discuss expectations and routines. Talk about things like mealtimes, house rules, and how privacy will be respected. Seniors and adult children may find success by holding weekly “family meetings” where they reviewed schedules, upcoming doctor visits, and any concerns. This gave both the adult children and their parents a chance to be heard.
2. Do Prepare the Living Space
Safety is critical for seniors, especially since falls are the leading cause of injury among older adults. Consider grab bars in the bathroom, non-slip rugs, and a well-lit bedroom. One family converted an underutilized dining room into a bedroom for their senior patriarch so he wouldn’t need to climb stairs. The family also added a video doorbell so he could see visitors without rushing to the door.
3. Do Respect Independence
Encourage your loved one to continue their hobbies and social activities. Studies show that seniors who maintain independence have better emotional health and lower rates of depression. Even after moving in with her son, a retired teacher continued attending her weekly book club and volunteering at the library. This gave her a sense of identity beyond being a “care recipient.”
4. Do Share Responsibilities
If you have siblings, divide caregiving roles. Even if one child provides housing, others can contribute financially, take turns with medical appointments, or handle paperwork. In one family of five daughters, the eldest daughter housed her mom, while her sisters rotated weekends for respite care so she could have personal time.
5. Do Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries keep everyone comfortable. Clarify things like childcare (if grandchildren are in the home), use of shared spaces, or financial responsibilities. Many families find it helpful to write down a “household agreement” that covers privacy, contributions, and decision-making and meet as needed to adjust the plan.
Five Don’ts to Avoid Before Transitioning Beloved Elders
1. Don’t Skip the Financial Conversation
Money can become a source of tension if not addressed early. Consider how groceries, utilities, or medical costs will be handled. AARP reports that nearly 80% of family caregivers spend their own money on caregiving-related expenses, averaging $7,200 per year. Being clear about finances can prevent resentment later.
2. Don’t Forget About Caregiver Stress
Balancing work, children, and a parent’s care can be overwhelming. The Family Caregiver Alliance notes that 40–70% of caregivers experience symptoms of depression, often due to burnout. One son who cared for his mother realized he was getting overwhelmed. He arranged for in-home respite care twice a week so he could focus on his job and young children.
3. Don’t Take Away All Decision-Making Power
Seniors may already feel a loss of independence. Involve them in choices about meals, outings, and healthcare decisions. Instead of making all appointments for her father, a daughter kept a shared calendar where he could add or adjust times that worked for him.
4. Don’t Overlook Privacy Needs
Crowded households can strain relationships. Even in small homes, carve out a private area—whether it’s a bedroom, a converted office, or even a screened-off section of the living room. A routine that worked for one family was to establish a “quiet hour” after dinner so everyone could have personal downtime.
5. Don’t Neglect Outside Support
You don’t have to do it all yourself. Community resources, home care agencies, adult day programs, and support groups can provide relief and connection. According to the National Institute on Aging, older adults who remain socially engaged show lower risks of cognitive decline. Encouraging your loved one to participate in outside activities benefits everyone.
Making the Jump to an Inter-Generational Family Environment
Bringing a senior parent into your home can be a deeply rewarding experience that strengthens family bonds. But success depends on preparation, communication, and ongoing respect for each person’s needs.
By adopting these dos and don’ts—and making use of the many resources available—families can make the transition smoother and healthier for all generations under one roof.
If you’d like to learn more about respite care and how it can support an aging senior loved one, don’t hesitate to reach out to us at Amada Senior Care where an experienced and compassionate senior advisor can provide guidance. CLICK HERE to find an Amada office near you and request a complimentary care needs assessment.
